I wonder...

I smile I laugh...trying to find joy in small things- friends n chocolates, movies n jokes!!
My world seems so nice- everything the way I want!

And then dawns upon me the reality- this is only temporary...Reality is far different...

I can see something coming my way- I fear to catch hold of it then...
I can see it move away from me- I curse myself for not holding it tight...

I am annoyed with myself- why did I let it go?
Why didnt I try harder?

Then I am annoyed with HIM- Why is HE playing games with me?
Showing me something that I don't want...
Then making me feel as though its the best I could get...
Luring me into it...
And then take it away...
Leaving behind a craving me...

My life seems like a jigsaw puzzle- the pieces of which I just can't set right...

I live in a nutshell- in a protected nutshell- very hard to break- very safe!!
I feel so lucky, so honored to have been gifted this :)

And then I wonder- am I really so lucky? Being so protected? Not having explored myself? Unable to survive on my own?

I wonder...

Happy B'Day to me :) 16th Jan 2013!!

Birthday! This term always reminds me of cakes, chocolates, gifts, parties, balloons, decorations...

I have always been excited about my birthday for like 1-2 months in advance. What would I wear... who all would call to wish me... where would I treat my friends... what would the family celebrations be like... what gifts would I get... etc etc...

But this year was a little different.

I guess every year I was excited about being remembered by all.. about being "THE" special one...
This year I thought...
Thought differently...
About growing...
Growing older by another year...

As though this was felt by a very very dear and close friend of mine, she sent me a cake and flowers well one day in advance!! I was so very surprised... I didn't know how to express it...I felt as if she was just there beside me- wishing me and trying to bring a smile on my face!!
Telepathy they call it- Love I call it!!

As the clock struck 12, mom was the first one to wish me! Though she pretended to be very pleasant then, she definitely felt a little lump within her... I could make out... could make out when I saw her in the eye... could make out in the way she kissed me Happy Birthday...

I actually hadn't thought of getting calls at 12 in the night... something which I usually very eagerly looked forward to..
But it did happen- a few friends called and it made me happy! Then there was a call from a unknown number... and as I was busy on another call- the person at the other end kept trying..relentlessly... I got 6 missed calls in just a minute! Wow!!!
And then the guessing game began... this was like another surprise for me... a least expected call... I'd never thought this friend would call... Again a streak of little surprise!!

As the day dawned to life, began my day at office! I reached my desk, to find a little note awaiting my acknowledgement- I opened it- unsure of what to expect- it read "Happy B'Day SWEETU!!" The writing was in all bold- so that I wouldn't recognize who it was. And I immediately knew it was one of my friends trying to play pranks with me!!

As i was just settling down a little with attending to phone calls and wishes, a new mail popped into my mailbox. Guess what was in store for me! A friend had composed a little poem for me!! She mentioned the minutest of my details- most of which I myself hadn't noticed. She quoted things which I didn't even remember mentioning to her- about the pleasant things I'd love to remember all my life- about the crazy moments I'd enjoyed, about some good qualities she made me realist that I possessed... Ooo I loved it so much!!

So to say that surprises just wouldn't stop pouring in, my friends made me play a little game of treasure hunt! I had to hunt for all my gifts with the little clues that they gave- the watch, the necklace, the earrings, the purse, the bangle, the key-chain... all of these hiding away and waiting for me to get hold of them!!!!
Some gift- yes I knew would come up, but such a dramatic and pleasant way of presenting was least expected... Luv you all my dear friends!!!

As though this wasn't enough, one of my friends had made a movie clip for me... capturing so many old lost memories and the newly sown ones!! I was so completely overwhelmed by it all that my inner feelings silently peeped out through my eyes and made their way down my cheeks...

My dear friends...You all made me feel so special... you made my day!!

Like all good things come to an end- so did the day- with a perfect ending to the perfect day- cake cutting followed by a lovely dinner with my lovely family!!

I remember the saying- Since GOD cannot be present everywhere, so he made MOTHER!
I'd rather add to it- Since GOD cannot be present everywhere, so he made MOTHER- and since MOMMY dear will be too busy all day, so he made FRIENDS!!!

There are a few days in my life which I would always want to relive- this is definitely one of them!!

A memorable journey!!

15 Dec 2012: 8a.m.: Woke up @5, greeted d chilly morning, made wake up calls, waited for ol to gather, finally journey to the bash begins!! At Mulshi :)

15 Dec 2012: 9:30a.m.: yummmmm misal pav, idli sambar, batata wada n chai @ QuickBite :) Tamhini Ghat here v cm!!!!!

15 Dec 2012: 1 p.m.: Heated grounds under d scorching sun..literaly a "WARM" welcome @Dapoli-Harne

15 Dec 2012: 5 p.m.: All set for the beach fun @Silver Sand Resort Dapoli

 





15 Dec 2012: 6.30 p.m.: Sun bidding adieu..Waters kissing ur feet.. Nature seems so calm n serene..Sunset by the beach..HEAVEN!!!

 16 Dec 2012: 6 a.m.: Morning walk by d beach..Chai in hand..Tracing d crab tracks..Watching d bird flocks play on d water bed..awaiting to welcome the sun..cudnt ask for more!!!



 

16 Dec 2012: 2 p.m.: Boat ride to Suvarnadurg..fun! Garma Garam lunch.. even more fun!!! Journey back to pavilion begins :(









 


16 Dec 2012: 5 p.m.: Cool breeze..Winding roads..Blind turns..Bhor ghat- Adventurous!!!!!







16 Dec 2012: 11 p.m.: A gr8 outing with gr8 ppl... @Dapoli- all my frnds... u all were simply AMAZING!!!    

Crush...

"Do you have a crush on me?" He asks.
She is stunned...

Does he intentionaly call it a crush? Or is it sheer carelessness?
What does that mean?

He'd once asked if she'd leave her hometown for him- she'd agreed- was that only a crush?
He'd send messages late night and got impatient if she wasn't online- then she'd apologise- was that only a crush?
He'd dread that she may fight with him- she'd assured that she won't- was that only a crush?
He'd ask if she'd cook for him- she said she'd love to- was that only a crush?
He'd assure her that his family was very sweet and simple- she was convinced- was that only a crush?
He'd talk to her about the future- she'd join in- was that only a crush?
He'd ask how many kids she wanted- she'd shy away- was that only a crush?

Does he know the meaning of crush? Or does she not know??
Must be her...
She must have been the one reading so much into it...

"Do you have a crush on me?" He asks.
She does not reply...
He tries to makeup by saying "Just pulling your leg"
She does not reply...
He notices and asks, "Is everything alright?”

She lies, "Yes".

Tired I am...

Tired I am... of faking a smiling face to the world..
Tired I am...of trying not to hurt my loved ones..I try hard- but I fail sometimes..
Tired I am... of thinking- people say not to think too much- and I tell my mind not too... but it does not obey...
Tired I am... of my mood changes- morning I feel all is well... but evenings get the gloom along...
Tired I am... of waiting- the hardest part in life is when u don't know whether to wait... or to move on...

I decide to move on... but there is no road to move on... or rather I do not see it...
But I have no complaints- whom can I complain to? What should I complain about?
I am trying to find happiness in other things-
I tell myself - I am happy
Then I ask myself- Am I really happy?
And the answer is- I don't know...

But I know.. Tired I am...

When...

When he is the first thought in your mind when u wake up... And the last before you sleep...

When you had never given your number to any other boy… but the moment he asked u for it... U gave it at once...

When u join a class... Only coz he had done it once...

When u start blogging... Only coz he does...

When there are no words of commitment… just unspoken feelings…

When every new email notification makes u open it with the excitement that it may be his... Though u know it won’t...

When the words of a song make sense... and music does not matter...

When he starts avoiding you- or so u think, the fact may remain that he is trying hard not to talk to u.. Only so that u are not hurt anymore.. He doesn’t know how much he is hurting by not talking...

When you want a small thing from him- very small... Only a reason...

When this happens... then you know... this is natures way to help you grow!!

Pune's Ganesh Visarjan Procession- A memorable experience!!

Of the many festivals that India celebrates, the Ganesh festival is very different and unique- probably the only one of its kind! So much of excitement to bring home the cutest of Indian Gods!! The ten days make the environment so pleasant- so holy! The decorations, the pujas, the aartis, the modaks... everything!!

   
But after the days of celebration, comes the time to bid adieu to our beloved God :( There is this beautiful and unique way to do this- to please and convince Him to come back soon the next year!!

I am born and brought up in Pune, but unfortunately I hadn't witnessed any Ganpati visarjan procession until this year.

We all gathered at the very famous Laxmi Road- the roads were adorned with beautiful Rangolis. So many people and among them were so many photographers armed with their weapons- clicking all the way on the roads!
It was all so crowded that we did not have to walk- the crowd automatically pushed us ahead :P

The dhol-tashas beat so loudly and so rhythmic that unknowingly you start moving to the beats... I realized then how the famous term "Ganpati Dance" came into being :P
It needs so much of zeal and energy- we could literally feel the performers sweating it out- but without even a hint of pain or fatigue.
Girls were no exception. There were few all girls squads- commonly known as dhol pathak- who also played the dhols and tashas....believe me they all were equally active and energetic!
The rhythm followed a typical format- it started gradually- then a little fast- then even faster- and then the music played so fast as if there is no stopping!! Oooo the feeling is amazing!!!

We even saw the famous Marathi music conposer-singer Salil Kulkarni- he was part of one of the squads!

Since we wanted a clear view of the whole procession, we sneaked into a building and up to the terarce! All people below seemed like a layer of multicolored balls all floating on the water- moving back n forth only inch by inch...we felt like a small kid with a new toy!

In the meanwhile it also started drizzling which made the environment even more pealsant!




As one pathak followed another, the Ganpatis started arriving- with the five "Manache Ganpati- Lords of honour" leading the troop!
The loud rhythmic slogans of "Ganpati Bappa Morya! Pudhchya Warshi Laukar Yaa!!" only gave us the feeling that our most desirable guest- the Ganesha- will be leaving soon :(






All idols seemed to be so serene- with such beautiful and lively eyes- as if the Lord is here to take away all my troubles- as if he is the true Vighnaharta.
I automatically closed my eyes for a short prayer!





I really dont know if anything like "God" exists.. if He exists in the form of idols or if the temple is His home...
But I have started to believe whatever I am, whatever I witness, whoever I am surrounded with, whatever makes me happy or sad, whenever I enjoy and have fun, is all due to some power, and probably that divine power is what we call God!!