I wonder...

I smile I laugh...trying to find joy in small things- friends n chocolates, movies n jokes!!
My world seems so nice- everything the way I want!

And then dawns upon me the reality- this is only temporary...Reality is far different...

I can see something coming my way- I fear to catch hold of it then...
I can see it move away from me- I curse myself for not holding it tight...

I am annoyed with myself- why did I let it go?
Why didnt I try harder?

Then I am annoyed with HIM- Why is HE playing games with me?
Showing me something that I don't want...
Then making me feel as though its the best I could get...
Luring me into it...
And then take it away...
Leaving behind a craving me...

My life seems like a jigsaw puzzle- the pieces of which I just can't set right...

I live in a nutshell- in a protected nutshell- very hard to break- very safe!!
I feel so lucky, so honored to have been gifted this :)

And then I wonder- am I really so lucky? Being so protected? Not having explored myself? Unable to survive on my own?

I wonder...

Happy B'Day to me :) 16th Jan 2013!!

Birthday! This term always reminds me of cakes, chocolates, gifts, parties, balloons, decorations...

I have always been excited about my birthday for like 1-2 months in advance. What would I wear... who all would call to wish me... where would I treat my friends... what would the family celebrations be like... what gifts would I get... etc etc...

But this year was a little different.

I guess every year I was excited about being remembered by all.. about being "THE" special one...
This year I thought...
Thought differently...
About growing...
Growing older by another year...

As though this was felt by a very very dear and close friend of mine, she sent me a cake and flowers well one day in advance!! I was so very surprised... I didn't know how to express it...I felt as if she was just there beside me- wishing me and trying to bring a smile on my face!!
Telepathy they call it- Love I call it!!

As the clock struck 12, mom was the first one to wish me! Though she pretended to be very pleasant then, she definitely felt a little lump within her... I could make out... could make out when I saw her in the eye... could make out in the way she kissed me Happy Birthday...

I actually hadn't thought of getting calls at 12 in the night... something which I usually very eagerly looked forward to..
But it did happen- a few friends called and it made me happy! Then there was a call from a unknown number... and as I was busy on another call- the person at the other end kept trying..relentlessly... I got 6 missed calls in just a minute! Wow!!!
And then the guessing game began... this was like another surprise for me... a least expected call... I'd never thought this friend would call... Again a streak of little surprise!!

As the day dawned to life, began my day at office! I reached my desk, to find a little note awaiting my acknowledgement- I opened it- unsure of what to expect- it read "Happy B'Day SWEETU!!" The writing was in all bold- so that I wouldn't recognize who it was. And I immediately knew it was one of my friends trying to play pranks with me!!

As i was just settling down a little with attending to phone calls and wishes, a new mail popped into my mailbox. Guess what was in store for me! A friend had composed a little poem for me!! She mentioned the minutest of my details- most of which I myself hadn't noticed. She quoted things which I didn't even remember mentioning to her- about the pleasant things I'd love to remember all my life- about the crazy moments I'd enjoyed, about some good qualities she made me realist that I possessed... Ooo I loved it so much!!

So to say that surprises just wouldn't stop pouring in, my friends made me play a little game of treasure hunt! I had to hunt for all my gifts with the little clues that they gave- the watch, the necklace, the earrings, the purse, the bangle, the key-chain... all of these hiding away and waiting for me to get hold of them!!!!
Some gift- yes I knew would come up, but such a dramatic and pleasant way of presenting was least expected... Luv you all my dear friends!!!

As though this wasn't enough, one of my friends had made a movie clip for me... capturing so many old lost memories and the newly sown ones!! I was so completely overwhelmed by it all that my inner feelings silently peeped out through my eyes and made their way down my cheeks...

My dear friends...You all made me feel so special... you made my day!!

Like all good things come to an end- so did the day- with a perfect ending to the perfect day- cake cutting followed by a lovely dinner with my lovely family!!

I remember the saying- Since GOD cannot be present everywhere, so he made MOTHER!
I'd rather add to it- Since GOD cannot be present everywhere, so he made MOTHER- and since MOMMY dear will be too busy all day, so he made FRIENDS!!!

There are a few days in my life which I would always want to relive- this is definitely one of them!!